much ado about noting

KY gets you wet

2009-01-05T17:19:00.006-05:00

hy i love my job:

i hear things like

"it claims hers doing her from 7pm to 3am.. look, at 7 hes fucking her, 9, still fucking her, 1, still fucking her"

and its totally work-related!

i can has flickr?

2008-12-29T15:02:00.004-05:00

and look i am htmling!

i took some pixx around lovely no*libs today.

easy day at the office.

good to know if I ever lose one or all of my limbs, I can always go to Atlantic City.

we used to be so close

2008-12-10T14:53:00.004-05:00

just call me if you want to talk, penis.

i work in web 2.0 so i might as well get back into it

2008-12-10T10:03:00.002-05:00

Recent reviews by Dan M.

What's this?

making stuff

2008-12-03T13:32:00.004-05:00

i fear the devil and damnation.

i want to be a mapmaker

i wonder about the emotional attachment to the first cow a man purchases when he decides to get into the cattle dealing business.

idle hands are the devils playthings.

joys of losing a phone

2008-12-01T10:55:00.002-05:00

I lost my phone.
Lost my woman.
for several days I lived- phoneless.
alone in the wilderness.
but i got a new one
$40 and I now have a functioning camera phone.
in AT&T, a man was screaming because he wasn't getting a phone by 5 today.
who wants to call him anyway?

and that is the joy of losing a phone.
who calls you anyway?

a friend i had not thought about in a while surprised me with an unfamiliar area code.
an anonymous text said "my friend thinks youre a cutie."
except the friend goes by the name of Shannon Madden.
I wouldn't expect people to date me if i was named Andrew McAndrew, or Daniel McAniel.

the american association of retired persons and why i need a camera

2008-11-12T13:53:00.000-05:00

razorfish recently aquired AARP as a client, so UX is in the research phase, and i am transcribing notes from the interviews. Because AARP is such an all-encompasing non-profit, and they have so many sites and causes- there is no continuity between sites. Razorfish needs to bring them together. Silos. I went to a Philly Ad Club this morning. Spring spoke but they did not alot time evenly, leaving no time for the QnA. Someone asked if they have ever met their replacement. I said "I was replaced by a drag queen," but nobody found it as amusing as I did. Riding back to work, I was presenetd 3 boxes of dog food en route. On the other side of city hall, I saw a near homeless man. There are different ways to categorize the homeless; some are disabled and crazy, some are drug-addled yet slick, others just can't see life confined to 4-walled, roofed structures, and i dont blame them. This man seemed the third. He was clothed and walking, albiet haggardly hairy, puffing on the last inch of a stogie. He had his AARP card strung around his neck. I wish I had a pen and paper, I wish I had a camera.

chaos

2008-10-30T10:13:00.000-04:00

matt vinny and i were watching the game at our house, wondering, at what point do we get up and rush downtown?

They called the game, we got in the car and headed down to broad and shunk. from drexel, it was like the pied piper of people rushing down toward city hall. honking at everyone. hanging out the windows. shunk was like a concert, people were being lifted up, girls had 'titties' chants shouted at them, and while the one girl with the classy peacoat on was giving us blue balls, there was no shortage of less classy broads showing their tits. we trudged through, got back around and went for city hall. at this point vinny gets a call from his dad, saying hes at a party with the players as we speak. but only two tickets, oh well. they left and i went via matt's bike (say a prayer for mine, which was locked outside the wachovia spectrum) down market street toward city hall. people walking back were carrying uprooted trees and police street barriers. what kind of scene was i walking toward? i saw an indian kid wearing a t-shirt tied around his waist- it looked like his pants had been forcibly removed. out front of city hall, it was chaos. i knew had just missed something big, as riot police swarmed in from all directions. a girl stood up next to me holding a dripping gash on her forehead, but she was directed to medical assistance as soon as she could. on the other side of market, massive planters were toppled over, trees were ripped up, bus shelters smashed in, every newspaper in every overturned box littered the street. i met up with marcy and george and had some wine, because i was sober through this whole ordeal. by 230, police had claimed the streets back. 30 or 40 bike cops had met on chestnut, and groups of 10 and 20 riot cops were scattered on each block. i managed to loot one item: a carton of liquid egg whites, but shhh. i got back to the 711 and my nigga bradford was there. i was afraid because he had been MIA, but after a short stint in jail, he was back, with more perspective and wisdom than ever. and this morning, there was an incredible calm of the elements, and i went to work. parade. tomorrow. noon. halloween.

Champions of the World

2008-10-27T10:38:00.000-04:00

Today is game 5 of the world series, and the phillies are up 3-1.

I am not much of a baseball person.

Since I was a wrestler, I come from the train of thought that 'sport' means being able to physically and mentally dominate your opponent. Any variety of ball tossing seems like a silly game and therefore, mind-numbingly boring.

BUT, I am excited for this game because it is the PHILADELPHIA phillies and I love Philadelphia.

Which has given me an idea.

This blog has no purpose to anyone other than myself.. YET.

i plan to combine my love for photography, pretty girls, and talking to strangers with my protective pride of philadelphia, and dislike for outsiders and their criticism into a new blog documenting all the wonderful things about our city.

Juices Flowing

2008-10-24T16:14:00.000-04:00

My moms birthday is october 27th, which is easy enough to remember and pretty nifty that its so close to Halloween. Then I started seeing a lovely young lady named nicole and her birthday is also on October 27th! We are going to have a little double date at little fish on sunday evening, and I am crafting a gift for each of the ladies of my life. I will post them when I am done.

Back to my exploration of the Internet.

So how does a newly hormonal pre-teen utlize the internet?

his primary goal is nudity. his secondary goal: not getting caught on the family's communal computer.

So how does a person get this information, while leaving no filthy breadcrumbs?

One technique was the AOL lesbian chat room.

in this method, the user patrols and number of lesbian chats which may be open, filters through the robots and bargains with anonymous, proprietors of perverted handles to trade graphic images. through this method I'm sure i came across countless pedophiles in the international waters that was the internet in the 1990s.

I also developed a system of hiding my most coveted images: a hi-res lollipop nestled between two labia stands out in my mind. such a precious piece of pornography was hidden in an Afghanistan-like cave system of folder and sub folders, to ensure nobody but I would ever be able to trace the path.

Then we graduated to video through the use of P2P networking sites.

Napster quickly fell out of favor for less-mainstream, more-dangerous sharing services such as KaZaA and morpheus.

I would download a number of files, based on length, file size, and shadiness of title, and systematically eliminate entries which i thought would not do anything for the greater good that was my developing libido, the driving force behind all of my decision making, and the ultimate user motivation.

The internets

2008-10-23T17:10:00.000-04:00

I have been using this interweb contraption for quite sometime. My friend Ryan had the internet, but it was a creature we did no speak of. He needed to ask his dad for permision, which was for the best because we were probably 8 at the time. Before long, my household was in posession of a disc, alleging a free month of AOL service. Fortunately, this month turned into a year or so, and we used screen names my mom created to include 721, our street adress. However, I think Ian's was something like cheesecow721 because thats just the kind of boy he is. Once we signed in, the blips and bleeps of the dial-up connection had ended and we were connected to the world. So we played "fat boy raids the cookie factory" on eZone.com

Robby had discovered a 1982 Penthouse calander with risque pictures of big-bushed women, and the month of April had the biggest, thickest bush (and sexy green eyes). The house was too risky, so we had to store the treasure in the bamboo forest. I hate to admit it, but the fiend I am led me back into the wood under the cover of night and I annexed the goods, brought them home, and must have left it under the bathroom mat because next thing I knew, I was in trouble.. big trouble. But I needed to see more bush.

Before long, I was using the internet to get the things I wanted. And at 11 and 12, it was pictures of naked women. Needless to say, I was incredibly motivated and therefore, doubly crafty.